"I can't stand to be around your children." These words were spoken to me on a recent trip to visit family. Those words burned me to the core of my being and left a festering wound of discouragement on my spirit.
Granted, these words were spoken to me in the heat of frustration, during a tense discussion of frustrations. 5 adults and 10 children (under the age of 9) had been sharing a home for the past 5 days. No one had slept well and my youngest had spent the first three days of our visit with a fever.
I do not want to dwell on this conversation, but I do want to focus on a few super important lessons I learned from this conversation. (This is me, speaking to myself, in inner monologue...)
1. You cannot, no matter how much you want to, you cannot judge your own family against another family. If you want: observe, take notes, make a mental list of "what not to do" or "things to try". But don't judge. If we lived in a vacuum and were without fault, then judge away. If another family asks for your observations, then share them as God leads. Otherwise, keep your thoughts to yourself. If the children of another family make you crazy, love on them, because it's the right thing to do.
2. If someone criticizes your family or children, take it in stride. Most people are not with your family 24/7. So they only get a glimpse into your daily life. Perhaps the criticism is unfounded, shrug it off. Perhaps there is a nugget of truth in the criticism. We all have blind spots, so check your mirrors and blind spots. Then make changes if need be.
3. Definitions are relative. Although my siblings, peers and I have read a similar spectrum of books on marriage and family, our application of philosophy is vastly varied. On many levels, this is really hard for me to remember.
4. If you are not walking deeply with the Lord and not praying fervently for your family, then this inner monologue is pointless. I am speaking to me, here.
p.s. I LOVE my family <3
